โฮเวอร์คราฟท์ของผมเต็มไปด้วยปลาไหล
Learning Thai is hard.
I had my first lesson with my teacher, A, on Thursday. We went through tones, consonant and vowel sounds, and the numbers. Not only do you have to master an entirely different alphabet, but the tone of voice in which you say a certain word can alter the meaning drastically.
I’ve paid for ten 90-minute lessons, hopefully by the time I’m done I’ll at least be able to order dinner without embarassing myself…
So last night, I finally plucked up the courage (or drunkenness) to eat one of the fried insects you see at food stalls around Bangkok.
I can report that they taste exactly as you would expect them to.
Yuck.
Last week was England’s last friendly match before the World Cup. Saturday saw their first match of the tournament – England vs Paraguay.
I’d watched last week’s game at Gulliver’s, and so it seemed the obvious place to watch this one.
I made it to the pub before kick-off, but too late to get a seat. Still, I had a decent enough view of the big screen. At five-to eight the TV was still showing the celebrations of the King of Thailand’s 60th anniversary on the throne. No pre-match build-up. Oh well, surely not such a bad thing.
One minute to eight, still no sign of the football. Bear in mind that the 2pm UK time kick-off means an 8pm kick-off here. I am in the company of several hundred drunk England fans. It is a criminal offence to criticise the Royal family in Thailand.
There was, how can I put it, a little unrest. No violence that I saw, but I don’t think that the Thais present appreciated the booing of the King, nor the creatively offensive chanting.
Coverage finally began at 8.30pm, so we missed the first third of the game. The only goal of the game was scored after 2 minutes, 28 minutes before we were able to start watching.
I understand the importance of the monarchy here, but I also understand the rabid mania of the English football fan. A dangerous mix…
Sleepless at about 4.50am a few days ago, I decided the only way forward was to tire myself out. There are several ways to do this in Bangkok, but I decided a walk would make for more family-friendly reading.
So I popped out of the apartment building on New Petchburi Road, walked all the way down Thong Lo, turned right onto Sukhumvit, got stopped and searched by the police (a first – they were very polite and courteous, and didn’t solicit a bribe), wandered from soi 55 to soi 7/1, went into Subway, had a Meatball footlong meal, read the paper, walked back to Soi 21, turned left down Asok and walked up to New Petchburi Road. By this time the sun was well and truly up, and I was sweating vigorously. The thought of getting a taxi for the last mile and a half did occur to me, but I braved the conditions and made it back in one sweaty, gibbering piece.
Total distance, 6.6 miles.
Total time: 2hrs 30mins, but I spent at least 30 mins stuffing my face and reading the paper in Subway.
Conclusion: Walking in England was a lazy way to exercise. Pop the iPod on, and wander about for a bit. It never got particularly hot, and whilst Milton Keynes wasn’t completely flat, at least the inclines were reasonably gentle. Bangkok is a different matter – all the city streets I walked along had at least six lanes of traffic, and the only ways of crossing are either by footbridge or suicidal dash. Even at 5am the heat and humidity are incredible.
Here’s my route, courtesy of the Gmap Pedometer.
Bangkok is where the familiar blends into the surreal. I jumped into a taxi to get myself to Martin’s place recently, sat back, and thought it odd that the radio was playing what sounded like a Thai soap opera.
And then noticed that the radio wasn’t turned on.
Instead, there was an LCD TV mounted on the passenger side of the dashboard, which my driver was watching intently as he drove us along New Petchburi Road.
As a police car approached in the outside lane, the driver hurriedly turned it off, only to turn it back on again as soon as the cops had passed. To be fair, we didn’t crash, but if you’ve seen Bangkok traffic you’ll know how alarming it can be – even when your driver’s actually paying attention to it!
