Saturday – Homeward Bound

Martin knocks on the bedroom door just after 9am. I grumble, cough, and get up. I need to be on the plane in a little over four hours – time to pack.

After several sweeps of the apartment, I’m convinced that I’ve got everything I need, and so it’s down in the elevator and across the road we go, suitcase and all, to Starbucks for a wake-up coffee. I sip and people-watch, it’ll be strange to be back amongst so many white faces again instead of the asians amongst whom I’ve been an ethnic minority myself for the past fortnight.

I drink up, and we find a handy taxi outside. I thank Martin again for his and Tik’s generous hospitality, we’ve all had a great time. Martin tells the taxi driver which airport and terminal, in perfect Thai, and I sit back and gaze out of the window for the long trip to Don Muang International.

Once at the airport I check my bags in straight away, pay the 500 Baht airport tax for permission to leave the country(!), and queue. I pick up some Werther’s Original at duty-free for my stepmother, some tiger balm for Sian, and 200 B&H for me. Then down to Gate 5, and I sit in the smoking room to ingest thirteen hours’ worth of nicotine.

Wheezing, I emerge into the waiting area and spot the couple I sat next to on the flight over here. I catch up with them for a quick chat, they’ve had a great time and will definitely return next year. The bloke’s only complaint is that he lost his mobile, and could do with calling his son to arrange getting picked up at Heathrow. He’s tried the payphones but no luck. I’ve still got some spare credit on my Thai cellphone that’ll expire before I return again, so I let him use my phone. We chat about Bangkok – they didn’t get to Suan Lum, but enjoyed the palace, the floating market, the river taxis. They got approached by a few scammers, but remembered the warnings that I (and their hotel) had given them, so emerged unscathed (and unladen with worthless gemstones)!

Half an hour late, we finally board the plane for the twelve and a half hour flight to Heathrow, with only movies and airline food to keep me sane. Pride and Prejudice is enjoyable, The Legend of Zorro is pants, Duma is more endearingly cute than I can really stomach (but I watch it anyway, captive audience that I am), and Just Like Heaven is sickly-sweet nonsense – I’m willing the heroine to suffer a gruesome death all the way through. Tragically, she does not.

Finally, and just as I manage to get to sleep, we land. Passport control and baggage reclaim are mercifully quick, and I meet my driver at arrivals before sucking on a cigarette in the car park. The motorways are almost empty – quite a contrast to Bangkok traffic, and I’m back home within about an hour.

I dump the bags, hug Sian, and we hit the pub. And then sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.