Looking backwards

When I was seven years old, Halley’s Comet was visible to the naked eye in our skies for a few weeks. Already a space geek at even this early age, I was desperate to see it. I remember standing in our back garden on a cold northern night with my Dad, straining to follow his pointing finger.

“Look, see those three stars? It’s in the middle of them. Can’t you see it?”

“No, I can’t even see three stars. Where are you pointing? I can’t see it.”

We went on like this for a while, and eventually gave up – the freezing wind coming off the Irish Sea sent us indoors frustrated and disappointed. It was three whole years later when we discovered that I was shortsighted, but the spectacles came too late for the comet.

I remember furiously flicking through my big book of all things space related, and discovering that Halley’s Comet would return in the year 2061.

I would be 82 years old.

In a little over a month, I will be one third of the way there. Assuming I make it, which is quite a stretch given my distinctly unhealthy and unwholesome lifestyle, I’m about one third of the way through my life.

Have I done one third of the things I want to do? Have I achieved one third of the things I want to achieve?

I’ve travelled to some amazing places. I’ve met some incredible people, and experienced things that most people can only dream of.

I’ve been a homeless dropout, I’ve been a mess. Now I’m a professional computer programmer. A year and a half ago, I moved into in a Grade II listed building – at first alone, but now sharing with a fantastic friend. I’m not rich by any means, but I have most of the material things I could wish for.

I’ve written a lot, but not as much as I’d like. I think I have at least one novel in me, but when will I find the time to write it? I’ve recorded a lot of music (iTunes says 60 tracks), but so many have been cover versions – surely I could have created my own album by now? I’ve taken a lot of photos (513 there) in the past few years, but too many are of mates in the pub instead of picture postcard scenes.

I’ve had to overcome a lot of barriers, and I’ve managed to improve my life substantially in the past ten years. Tellingly, I suspect I’d still be questioning my achievements if I’d managed to do twice as much as I had. There’s nothing wrong with ambition, or even perfectionism, as long as you don’t let it get in the way of appreciating how far you’ve come.

I’ve come a long way. Hopefully I can go a lot further.

I’ve done a lot of things. Here’s to doing a lot more.

See you for the comet.

5 thoughts on “Looking backwards

  1. 1/3 of your life :o) I don’t agree. Life begins for most of us about age 21. Until that time our time is spent doing all the things other people expect us to be doing. The day a person completes university, or college is often the first day of their life that they have control over. By my philosophy you’ve therefore only had 5-8 years of living so far, all the rest was merely the appetizer.

    I’m looking forward to your January 2007 diary when you realize how much you’ve achieved throughout 2006. Best of luck.

  2. “and experienced things that most people can only dream of.” – lol, only 4 weeks before you can do that again ;o)

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